I love wordplay of all types: word puzzles, puns, crosswords, double-crostics, epigrams, and especially ciphers. I’ve been a member of the American Cryptogram Association (ACA) for decades and enjoy solving all the constructions (“cons”) in the bimonthly ACA magazine The Cryptogram. In addition to the challenge of deciphering them, the cons also often provide a clever quote or funny joke as a reward. I’ll feature a few of them here. Today I’ll stick with amusing definitions.
A bore is someone who persists in holding his own views after we have enlightened him with ours.
A cannibal is just someone fed up with people.
A celebrity is a person who works very hard all his life to become famous then wears dark glasses to not be recognized.
Adolescence is that awkward age when your child is too old to say something cute and too young to say something sensible.
A pedestrian is a person who insists he should walk on the suicide of the street.
Wall Street definitions: a recession is when you have to tighten your belt; a depression is when you have no belt; a panic is when you have no pants.