If you follow the news, you know that Donald Trump named Kash Patel, a right-wing FBI hater, to become the next head of the FBI. I doubt he will be confirmed, but if he is, he has promised on day 1 to close the FBI Headquarters Building (currently named the J. Edgar Hoover Building) and to reopen it the next day as a museum of the deep state.
So I checked my favorite authoritative place-naming site, What3Words.com,, and discovered the U.S. already has a Deep.State.Museum. It’s located in San Antonio, Texas, in an intersection between Autozone, Schlotzky’s Sandwiches, and Sherwin Williams paint stores. Maybe Patel is confused. On the border of Washington D.C. there is a deed.state.museum in Mt. Rainier, Maryland, only 3 miles from the FBI building. That’s probably what he was thinking of, or possibly the feed.state.museum in Laurel, Maryland, only 5 miles from NSA Headquarters. It’s in a gas station … at least that’s what the deep state has disguised it as.
Then maybe I’ve been looking in the wrong place. Museum.deep.state is also in the U.S., in a forest in Wellsville, Ohio. Closer to D.C. there are a couple of other logical museum sites:
- museum.deep.stage: Potomac, Maryland
museum.jeeps.state: Damascus, Maryland.
If Patel isn’t confirmed, he should be able to set up his museum in one of these likely spots.
All kidding aside, that building is a disaster. The FBI has been trying to close it and build a new headquarters for years. A couple of things have prevented that. First, when Trump had his hotel down the block he didn’t want them to leave. During the Biden administration, Maryland and Virginia have been fighting over which state would get the new HQ building, stalling any progress.