I’ve wasted about three hours now trying to buy socks. Socks. Plain brown dress socks. It’s bad enough that after spending half an hour I had to settle for buying women’s black socks, but I couldn’t find even those in brown. I’ve got small feet. Very small feet. Size 6-1\/2 shoes, to be exact, even though I’m just a smidgen under six feet tall. If you try to buy socks in any department store men’s wear section they always come in a one-size-fits-all package. The only ones Target had were labeled as fitting sizes 6 – 12, so I finally bought some. Get real. If lingerie makers did that you women would be buying bras marked “fits sizes 28A to 44DD”. I got home, opened the package, discarded the plastic rack and sticky wrapper, and tried a pair on. The shaped heel bagged out over the top of my shoes in back, right on the Achilles tendon. Not even close. The women’s socks allegedly fit sizes 4-10 (women’s). Since my feet are size 8-1\/2 in women’s sizes, these actually fit just fine. People may think I’m a cross-dresser if they look close, but I already wear women’s hiking boots and running shoes, so maybe I am. The only manufacturer of men’s footwear I know of that makes something exactly in men’s size 6-1\/2 is Converse. I have some men’s All-Stars and love them since they are the only shoes I own that are actually my size.<\/p>\n
Anyway, today I returned the brown socks and made another try, this time checking out the boy’s section. There they had a package of dress socks that supposedly fit sizes 3 – 9. That’s ridiculous, too, but at least my size is right in the middle of the range, which means they do fit me. However, they were black, and I don’t need more of those. No brown ones, although there were many varieties in bright colors and Power Ranger or other super-hero-themed logos to choose from. So I finally gave up and drove across town to the Men’s Wearhouse. They had brown dress socks all right, but they were listed as fitting sizes 7-12. They didn’t even pretend to cover my size. I asked about boy’s socks. They had some – black ones. Sigh. Then the clerk went in back, dug around, and came back with some boys’ socks in brown that fit sizes 1 – 6. No chance. Double sigh. I gave up there and went to a tailor in the same shopping center. Nothing there in my size. I eventually gave up, defeated, and returned home where I dug out from the wastebasket my old brown socks with the transparent heels. Sometime in the ancient past I found some that more or less fit and I suppose I’ll have them until I die. The undertaker will need them.<\/p>\n